“Today” is my theme here. Today, like every day, is the first day of the rest of my life – a new start full of new opportunities. Today, June 11, as it approached, became a day I was determined to post here (at my secret place under my secret name :)). Today is Day 30 of being alcohol free! I am doing it! I am accomplishing that goal one day at a time. And in continuing to read sobriety blogs and listening to The Bubble Hour, I am maintaining my motivation and drive to continue alcohol free. It just makes so much sense to me now to not drink.
I don’t know why, but I am a bit surprised, as I think back on the last 30 days, how much time and energy not drinking consumed! But hopefully I will never have another Day 1-30 again. Hopefully, that is it for me! Now I can move on to Days 30-60, 60-90, 90-120, etc.. And hopefully I can do so without obsessing about not drinking so much and turn to my other goals more. As I passed Day 15, and tried to get to Day 30 of not drinking, I went easy on myself on some other goals and that is OK. But I feel like it is time to try to start trying to achieve the balance in my life I am looking for with the five basics – water, food, exercise, sleep, spirituality. These have been my goals for a while simply put. And my main goal is to strike a balance among them.
Today, even though my to-do list is very long, I made it to a yoga class this morning. And I am so glad I did! It was an awesome class – 92 degrees (love to sweat!) and not too crowded. All of us participants had plenty of space. It was a great workout with a great wind-down at the end. I felt totally present with myself on the mat. My thoughts would wander a bit and them come back to the mat. The heat made me so flexible. In tree pose, I stretched myself up as high as I could and felt taller than ever (which is a pretty amazing feeling when you’re short like me). In dancer’s pose, I kicked back my leg in my hand and reached to the front of the room and felt so elegant (again amazing as I am so not a dancer). In airplane pose, I felt more balanced than ever in that pose and so so free!!!
Now I am back home and back to reality. I have a million things to do, but I wanted to take the time to write here like I promised myself I would. I know I am hard on myself. I get frustrated with myself. I have high expectations of myself and sometimes I disappoint myself by trying to do way too much. But today, at this moment, I am happy with myself. No matter what happens the rest of the day, I will have this moment and this memory.
Tonight, when I put my head on my pillow, I may have some some regrets, but I will also have these three things I can be proud of myself for today – 30 Days alcohol free, getting myself to yoga, and writing this post to congratulate myself. Namaste.