Flashbacks

Lately so many memories (childhood, teenage, twenties, early marriage (pre-children years), thirties (child-bearing years), early forties) have been FLOODING into my mind.  It is amazing – overwhelming at times, exhausting at times, sad at times, funny at times – always incredibly therapeutic.  I have also been dreaming vividly!  I am sure all of this must be related to the state of self-reflection I have been in lately.  Blogging is also bringing things to the surface (although I am still somewhat guarded and pretty general in my writing).  I have no doubt giving up alcohol has also helped my mind receive and think about so much more lately.  As of today, I have gone 49 days (7 weeks) without drinking any alcohol.  It is been a long time since I have gone an entire month without drinking any alcohol, but I can now say that about the month of June 2014!   Finally, as I mentioned in my previous post, I am reading a ton. Right now I am reading Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol, by Ann Dowsett Johnston.  It is part personal memoir, part very thorough research about alcohol and women.  It is a fascinating book, and reading it is probably also a major factor in getting me to think back on my own personal 43-year history, in a very deep way lately.  Needless to say, my mind is so active right now!  It would probably be helpful if I started writing about some of this in more detail, but for now I wanted to record how I am feeling – overcome with memories, emotions, thoughts, and feelings – and it really is a good thing.  I feel very alive.  I feel like I have a lot to accomplish.  And I feel confident about my chances!

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2 thoughts on “Flashbacks

  1. Made me self-reflective, too. Then I start to worry that I’m doing too much naval-gazing! So I’m trying to look at it as a process. Just like my cravings for alcohol have greatly diminished over the past five months, maybe my constant analysis of the past will start to ease up, too, and I’ll be more able to stay in the present.

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