Day 854

It’s been a LONG time since I posted here.  I am inspired today to say yes, I am still here, and yes, I am still deciding to live my life without alcohol.  It’s been 854 consecutive days and three consecutive Summers.  Summer always has its challenges – social events, vacations, block parties, where a chilled glass of white wine on a warm night or a warm glass of red wine on a chilly night sound so tempting.  But then I remind myself, I would not only want one, I would want more than one glass.  And I know if I tried to moderate, it would become a slippery slope.  Allowing myself wine on Saturday would probably become allowing myself wine on weekends (or trips), and then how does one define a weekend?  It could so easily become Thursday to Sunday!  So instead of negotiating rules with myself, I have stuck with the hard and fast rule that I no longer drink.  And through bouts of “pre-lapse” that have definitely been there in hindsight, thinking back on the past few months especially, I have made it through to here  – Day 854.

The best thing I did for myself last Spring is do a 6-week workout challenge.  It got me into the habit of eating more mindfully and exercising at a new facility regularly.  The workouts are 30 minutes each.  So while the workouts are very tough at times, 30 minutes is doable!  I try to do the 30 minute workouts 2-3 times a week and hot yoga 1-2 times a week and that was a good balance for me in the Spring.  Unfortunately, in the Summer, I fell out of this routine but hope to get back into it this Fall.

The absolute best thing I did for myself this Summer is order Belle’s book “Tired of Thinking About Drinking” as a treat for Day 800.  That was a great read and this book being available in my nightstand all Summer (between travels when I came back home from various trips and excursions) absolutely became my fallback tool this Summer when I let so many other tools slip away.  Thank you Belle!

With the kids back to school and Fall underway, and passing Day 850 and now shooting for Day 900, I decided I also need to get back to regularly using the basics of my sobriety tools. Today, I have emailed Belle and I have posted with my gratitude pen-pals.  I pre-ordered Elizabeth Vargas’ memoir to be released tomorrow “Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction” as a Day 850 treat for myself.  I plan to listen to some of the new Bubble Hour podcasts later today and this week. I am so grateful Jean (of Unpickled blog) has recorded several new episodes recently.   And I just read the latest entry in one of my favorite blogs  “Mrs. D is Going Without” which so resonated with me!   Bravo, Mrs. D; congrats on 5 years!  I totally agree with you that the messiness of daily life and living it without alcohol is so MUCH BETTER than trying to escape it with alcohol.

And so today I was also inspired to write here after a long hiatus.  There were many tough and challenging days since my last post on Day 613, but so many great days also. Mostly, there were so many memories made, good and bad, and NONE of them were lost to alcohol!   I don’t really have a good reason why I did not choose to write here in Spring and Summer.  And I hope I did not worry anyone.  I am sorry if I did.

Fall has such a “back to school” feel, and I feel inspired at this moment, so I decided to go with it and say hello.  I am still taking one day at a time. I am very happy that I have met the last 850-plus days uninfluenced by alcohol, and that all the emotions that go with the ups and downs of daily life, I have felt for real myself.  I am so happy with this choice. I am going to keep trying to live in the present, one day at a time.  Thanks for reading.